{"id":489,"date":"2025-06-25T07:15:41","date_gmt":"2025-06-25T07:15:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brainspectrum.dk\/?p=489"},"modified":"2025-07-12T08:16:49","modified_gmt":"2025-07-12T08:16:49","slug":"skyld-skam-og-sorg-og-en-spiseforstyrrelse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brainspectrum.dk\/index.php\/2025\/06\/25\/skyld-skam-og-sorg-og-en-spiseforstyrrelse\/","title":{"rendered":"Skyld, Skam og Sorg -og en spiseforstyrrelse"},"content":{"rendered":"

N\u00e5r en familie f\u00e5r en spiseforstyrrelse, f\u00f8lger der ofte tre tavse f\u00f8lgesvende med:
\nSorg. Skyld. Skam.
\nSorg over at miste det barn, du kendte \u2013 det liv, du troede, dit barn skulle have, og det f\u00e6lles liv, I som familie skulle dele.
\nSkyld over ikke at have set tegnene i tide. Skyld over alt det, du t\u00e6nker, du burde have gjort anderledes.
\nSkam over at f\u00f8le, at du ikke sl\u00e5r til \u2013 som for\u00e6lder, som menneske.
\nUdover selve livet er noget af det f\u00f8rste, vi giver vores nyf\u00f8dte, mad. N\u00e6ring.
\nEt symptom -ikke en \u00e5rsag<\/strong>
\nEt grundl\u00e6ggende behov for at overleve, som nu er blevet et symptom p\u00e5 noget langt mere komplekst \u2013 men med samme livstruende konsekvens. Et symptom, som i min optik kun kan forst\u00e5s og behandles, hvis man ogs\u00e5 finder frem til den bagvedliggende \u00e5rsag.
\nN\u00e5r en familie bliver spiseforstyrret<\/strong>
\nAt v\u00e6re for\u00e6lder til et barn med en spiseforstyrrelse er som at blive kastet ud i en storm uden kort, kompas eller redningsvest. Du bliver behandler, kontrollant, d\u00f8gnvagt, aflaster, terapeut \u2013 alt sammen pakket ind i rollen som for\u00e6lder.
\nVel vidende, hvor uhensigtsm\u00e6ssigt det ville v\u00e6re at indtage de roller i enhver anden sammenh\u00e6ng med sit barn. For det er roller \u2013 og ikke autentiske udgaver af dig som for\u00e6lder. Og med tiden bliver konsekvensen tydelig:
\nRelationen mellem barn og for\u00e6lder slides. Og kan \u2013 i v\u00e6rste fald \u2013 g\u00e5 i stykker.<\/p>\n

\u201cDu kan d\u00f8 af denne sygdom!\u201d Hvorn\u00e5r?<\/strong>
\nSom i historien om Peter og ulven bliver den s\u00e6tning sagt igen og igen \u2013 og alligevel svagere hver gang. Retorikken i denne \u201cverden\u201d er barsk, dramatisk og fuld af trusler. Men konsekvenserne udebliver, og tilliden forsvinder.
\nJeg skrev indledningsvis, at det er hele familien, der bliver ramt af en spiseforstyrrelse. Langsomt bliver hjemmets normer tilpasset sygdommen. Den flytter ind og overtager. M\u00e5ltider, stemninger, ord og pauser formes af, hvordan den vil have det. Og med tiden bliver det sv\u00e6rt \u2013 n\u00e6sten umuligt \u2013 at se klart.
\nAt \u00e6ndre noget. At r\u00e6kke ud. For man er ganske enkelt udmattet. Det bliver et skamfuldt rum at lukke andre ind i. B\u00e5de fysisk og psykisk.
\nOg tag ikke fejl:
\nSorg, skyld og skam bor ogs\u00e5 hos vores barn. Selvom vi som for\u00e6ldre fors\u00f8ger at holde de f\u00f8lelser v\u00e6k, er sygdommens konsekvenser ikke til at overse.<\/p>\n

Jeg har sagt op!<\/strong> Jeg har sagt op som behandler. Og som d\u00f8gnvagt. Og som terapeut. Stillinger jeg aldrig havde s\u00f8gt \u2013 men som jeg alligevel tog p\u00e5 mig.
\nVi lader kompetente behandlere behandle. Fortsat. Og vi fors\u00f8ger at g\u00f8re det, vi er bedst til:
\nAt elske. At st\u00f8tte. At forst\u00e5.
\nVores barn har brug for omsorg, k\u00e6rlighed, tryghed og for\u00e6ldre<\/strong>\u2764\ufe0f<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

N\u00e5r en familie f\u00e5r en spiseforstyrrelse, f\u00f8lger der ofte tre tavse f\u00f8lgesvende med: Sorg. Skyld. Skam. Sorg over at miste det barn, du kendte \u2013 det liv, du troede, dit barn skulle have, og det f\u00e6lles liv, I som familie skulle dele. Skyld over ikke at have set tegnene i tide. Skyld over alt det, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"right-sidebar","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-skyld-skam-sorg","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nSkyld, Skam og Sorg -og en spiseforstyrrelse - AITIA<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Skyld, skam og sorg. 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